Parents

“There is nothing more tragic than a person who achieves wealth, fame, power or prestige only to find he’s lost the love of his family and friends, the respect of his colleagues, and above all has lost the ability to appreciate life for its own sake.”
~ Roger Dawson
The truth is, most companies reward workaholics — promotions, raises, additional responsibility — which can lead to a self-perpetuating cycle: The more success you have, the more you’re drawn to focusing on your career.
You may be your company’s star employee, but as a workaholic, you’ll have little time for family, friends, exercise, or even just small leisurely distractions. The big paychecks, professional prestige, and recognition may make you feel like those long hours, weekends, and holidays spent working are worth it, but do you ever imagine your last words on your deathbed being, “I wish I had spent more time at the office”?
Ten, 15, or 20 years from now, when you’re looking back and taking an inventory of how you spent your waking hours on this earth, don’t let one of your regrets be that you wish you had spent more time living and less time working.

Is there more to my life than work, really?

Not convinced that any of this applies to you? Start with these five sure signs you are a workaholic.
The good news is, even the most hardcore workaholics can start reclaiming their lives just by making small changes that will go a long way toward breaking the compulsive career cycle.
Here are four steps you can take to help you redefine your life as one that belongs to you, not the company you work for.
1. Establish boundaries, shift your priorities, and delegate.
Your first and most important goal: To re-assert your personal life.
This means learning to leave your work at the office, delegating what’s not of the highest importance, and cutting back the time you spend working to 40 hours a week.
It won’t be easy. You’ll feel like you’re slacking at first, like you have to be doing more. So take it slow, and cut back gradually:
If you’re working seven days and 70 hours a week, start by scaling back by one hour a weekday to 65 hours a week. Then work your way down to 60 hours. Then try taking Sundays off completely, and so on, until you’re at 40 hours and you’ve made your weekends your own.
As with any addiction, breaking your dependency on work will go easier if you can distract yourself from thinking about it. So as you cut down on your work hours, reward yourself by spending that extra time doing things you really enjoy.
2. Pay attention to your body.
Workaholism doesn’t just cost you a personal life, it can take a physical toll as well. Stress, fatigue, headaches, and insomnia can be just the beginning.
If you ignore what your body’s telling you as you work yourself into the ground, your symptoms may get worse and could lead to depression, high blood pressure, even a heart attack or stroke. Your work, when you let it run rampant enough, could literally kill you — the Japanese actually have a word for it: kroshi, “death by overwork.”
Make a commitment to stop prioritizing work over your health and well-being: When you’re tired, go to sleep. When you’re run down, take a break. When you get to the point where you’re feeling wrung out, go on vacation.
3. Find balance in your life.
Your mission here is to move from a life that’s work-centric to balanced living, where you allocate time for yourself — social outings, long-forgotten hobbies, even just time to relax — and for those things that matter most, your friends and family.
Start by scheduling your personal time, just as you would work. When you’re completely absorbed by your job, the only way you’re going to be able to kickstart your personal life is by managing it, at first, the same way you manage your work life.
Set aside appointment times in your calendar for movies, dinners, workouts, etc. No matter how small a thing it is, write it in. If one of your goals is to read more, schedule reading time. If you want to sleep an hour more a night, schedule your bedtime, and stick to it.
Eventually, as you force yourself to balance work with a personal life, you’ll be able to find time naturally for your non-work activities without needing to lay them out, hour by hour, in your calendar.
4. Get help if you need it.
Some mental health professionals believe workaholism is an addictive behavior, like compulsive gambling or alcoholism, that requires formal treatment for those who can’t conquer it on their own.
If your addiction to work has spiraled out of the range of your ability to rein it in, your first step is to admit that you have a problem. Your next step is to take action and get the support you need to overcome it.
The Workaholics International Network and Workaholics Anonymous are two good places to start if you need help. Both websites offer extensive resources, articles, and advice. Workaholics Anonymous has a 12-step recovery program and lists W.A. meetings by city and state.

Additional Resources

For more information and guidance on overcoming workaholism, try these books:

• • The Man Who Mistook His Job for a Life: A Chronic Overachiever Finds the Way Home by Jonathon Lazear (Crown, 2001)

• • Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them by Bryan Robinson (New York University Press, 2007)

• • Working Ourselves to Death: The High Cost of Workaholism and the Rewards of Recovery, second edition, by Diane Fassel (Backinprint.com, 2000)

• Workaholics: The Respectable Addicts by Barbara Killinger (Firefly Books, 1997)

You and your kids have been looking forward to summer, and you want to get away. But with the cost of gas and plane so high, and the uncertainty surrounding COVID-19, any kind of travel may be just not in the cards this year.

But while you may have to cancel your plans that would’ve taken you across the country, across the border, or across the ocean, before you skip a summer break altogether, consider taking a “staycation,” where you can still enjoy an affordable summer vacation at home.

The idea behind a staycation is to look at your city through the eyes of a tourist. Discover those great hidden places, attractions, and small restaurants you never knew about, and take in the local sights you’ve always wanted to see but keep putting off as “things to do” with your out-of-town guests.

Playing the Tourist: Downtime in Your Hometown

1) Stay in a nearby hotel or resort. Tell the hotel you’re a local, and they might give you a break on a room rate to encourage you to recommend them to visiting friends and family. Hotels and resorts can be pricey, though, so look for summer deals and discount packages.

2) Rediscover the outdoors. Go hiking, biking, boating, camping. If a hotel is too expensive or seems to risky, pack up your car and some camping gear, and get away from it all with a couple nights’ sleep under the stars. Rent a boat, and spend a day out on the lake. Or keep it closer to home, and have a midday picnic in the park. Look up nearby nature trails online, and set out on a daylong hike, or take it a little more easy and just make it a leisurely morning or evening walk; buy a birdwatching book or field guide, and try to pick out the different birds, trees, flowers, and other plant and animal life along the way.

3) Check out local guidebooks. For ideas of places to visit, browse online guidebook sites like Frommer’s, Fodor’s, and Lonely Planet check out the hard-copy versions from your local library.

4) Find hole-in-the-wall restaurants. If you’re going to sightsee like a tourist, you should be eating like one. Steer away from your usual takeout and dine-in standbys, and find out what affordable restaurants food lovers recommend in your area that you’ve never been to. See if Epicurious offers an essential guide for places to eat in your h威而鋼 ometown, or check out other foodie websites like Chowhound and Roadfood.com.

5) Look for online events calendars. Many newspapers and alternative weeklies have already done the footwork for you, so take advantage — some of their listings will usually be free. Plan to attend at least one event or activity every couple days or so during your staycation — it’ll help you avoid the temptation to spend your time in front of the TV and slipping back into your usual day-to-day routine or checking your e-mail and getting sucked back into work.

Why overspend this year on a vacation that could cost you big in rising gas, airfare, and food prices?

Cut your costs and the hassle by staying close to home and playing tourist. Take a staycation, and you can plan an affordable summer getaway right there in your hometown or nearby. Break out of your household routine, check into a reasonably priced local hotel or resort, and make a point of seeking out all the sights and attractions you’d typically explore if you were an out-of-towner just visiting for the week.

Recommended by Fodor’s, here are staycation ideas and hotel packages for five major U.S. cities.

1) New York City

Where to stay: Jumeirah Essex House
What to do: Take advantage of the hotel’s Weekend Escape on the Park package, and stay at this recently renovated Art-Deco–style hotel located across from Central Park. Go window-shopping on Fifth Avenue, take in a Broadway show, and check out a concert during SummerStage ’08, a free performing arts festival held in the park each summer.
What you’ll spend: Room rates are $309 and up.

2) Scottsdale, Ariz.

Where to stay: Camelback Inn
What to do: Get a vacation package the whole family can enjoy. The resort’s Escape! Family Slumber Party, which runs through December, includes a casita room or a two-bedroom suite, pizza delivered to your room daily, one in-room movie a day, and unlimited soda and juice for the kids. Lounge in your room or by the pool while the kids take a cooking class, then spend some time together at family events like one of the city’s free ArtWalks held throughout the year.
What you’ll spend: Room rates start at $149.

3) Seattle

Where to stay: The Fairmont Olympic Hotel
hat to do: Start off your mornings with a cup of the city’s famous java, then try some of the local wines at night, paired with a four-course meal as part of the hotel’s Savor Seattle Package. This food-and-wine package includes a copy of the Savor Seattle cookbook, autographed by the hotel’s executive chef, Gavin Stephenson, and featuring his recipes, alongside those of other well-known chefs in the Northwest. You can also explore the Seattle Aquarium, or walk to Pike Place Market for some fresh seafood.
What you’ll spend: Package rates start at $499.

4) Dallas

Where to stay: The Ritz-Carlton, Dallas
What to do: Forget about exploring, and just relax. Book the Signature Spa package, available through December 27, and get pampered. Perfect for couples who need an escape from work or their college kids who are home for the summer, the package includes a 50-minute Signature Massage for two guests (tip included), deluxe accommodations and valet parking for one night, and breakfast for two in your room or the hotel restaurant.
What you’ll spend: Package rates start at $539.

5) San Francisco

Where to stay: The Orchard Hotel
What to do: Go green, and book the Eco-Getaway at this boutique hotel just 100 feet from the Powell Street Cable Car line and two blocks from Union Square. Hit the ground running with your Greenopia Guide, the urban dweller’s guide to green living in San Francisco, and get a hotel discount on tickets for Mr. Toad’s “Postcard San Francisco” three-hour tour. You’ll see San Francisco in a pre-1930s vintage car that runs on propane, and get to stop for photo ops at picture-postcard places like Alamo Square, Golden Gate Park, and Ocean Beach.
What you’ll spend: Book Mr. Toad’s tour for $38 ($48 without the hotel discount). Room rates vary and are subject to a 14-percent occupancy tax.

With gas at $4.00 a gallon, food prices up, and employment down, you may not have a lot of cash to go around right now, especially if you’ve got kids in college. But with the start of the fall semester only a couple months away and the first wave of tuition bills due, where do you go for money for college if the financial aid package your children received just isn’t enough this year?

Even though your kids’ need-based aid has already been awarded, here are three college loans you can look at for any extra financing you need. These loans are awarded without regard to financial need, so you and children can’t be turned down for making too much money or having too many financial assets.

Unsubsidized Federal Stafford Student Loans

Interest Rate: 6.8% fixed
Fees: 3% origination fee; 1% guarantee fee

Whereas subsidized federal Stafford loans — in which the government will cover the interest while your kids are in school at least half time — are need-based, unsubsidized Stafford loans are awarded without consideration of financial need.

No matter how much you make, your kids can request to borrow up to the max allowable Stafford loan amount, which ranges from $5,500 to $12,500 a year, depending on your kids’ year in school, whether they’re still your financial dependent, and on whether or not you qualify for a federal parent loan.

There’s no credit check required for Stafford student loans; in order to qualify, your kids just have to have filed their 2008–09 FAFSA and meet the general eligibility requirements for federal financial aid.

Although your kids will be responsible for all interest that accrues on these unsubsidized loans, they’ll be able to defer making any principal or interest payments as long as they’re enrolled at least half time.

Subsidized Stafford loans will be included in your kids’ financial aid package. Unsubsidized Staffords, on the other hand, may or may not be listed on the financial aid award letter. Check your award letter to see if you’ve already accepted any unsubsidized Stafford aid. If you haven’t, or if you have, but it’s not the max amount your kids are eligible for, call your kids’ financial aid office and put in a request for additional unsubsidized Stafford aid.

Federal PLUS Loans for Parents

Interest Rate: 8.5% fixed
Fees: 3% origination fee; 1% guarantee fee

Federal PLUS loans are loans you can take out in your own name to help pay your kids’ college expenses. Each year, you can borrow up to the max PLUS loan amount, which is 100 percent of your child’s cost of attendance, less any other financial aid you’ve received.

PLUS loans are credit-based loans, so you’ll have to undergo a credit check that looks at the last five years of your credit history. There’s no minimum credit-score requirement, though, and recently passed legislation, which went into effect on July 1, includes a special provision that allows you to still be considered for a PLUS loan even if you have some derogatory items on your credit report. Under the Ensuring Continued Access to Student Loans Act, lenders may still consider you for a PLUS loan even if you’re up to 180 days delinquent on your mortgage or medical bills, or up to 89 days delinquent on any other debt.

The new legislation also allows you to defer payments on your new PLUS loans while the child for whom you took out the loans is still enrolled in school at least half time. PLUS loans are unsubsidized loans, so keep in mind that even if you’re not required to make any payments, you’re accruing interest on your balance, and that interest will be capitalized and added to your loan principal for you to pay back once your repayment period begins.

To apply for a PLUS loan, contact your children’s financial aid office; they should be able to point you in the right direction.

Private Student Loans

Interest Rate: usually a variable rate, not fixed, that varies by lender and by borrower credit profile
Fees: fees vary by lender and by borrower credit profile

Private student loans are non-federal credit-based loans that can help your kids pay for school when grants, federal student loans, federal parent loans, and other financial aid aren’t enough to cover all their education-related expenses.

Private student loans are typically variable-rate loans that can be subject to higher interest rates and fees than federal student loans, and private loans may not offer the same income-sensitive repayment or hardship payment-deferment options that accompany federal loans. You and your kids should only turn to private loans once you’ve taken advantage of all your low-cost federal financing options.

Your kids will almost always have to apply for a private student loan in their own name, but unless they meet the lender’s income and credit requirements, your kids will need a creditworthy co-signer to qualify.

Even if your kids qualify for a private loan on their own without a co-signer, because borrowers with stronger credit profiles often qualify for lower interest rates and fees than those borrowers with weaker credit, if you have good credit and can co-sign on your kids’ loan, you may be able to help them qualify for a better rate and lower fees. (For more on what’s involved when you co-sign on your children’s student loans, check out our other article this month, “Co-Signing for Their Private Student Loans.”)

Many private loan programs will allow your kids to defer making payments while they’re enrolled in school at least half time, but interest will continue to accrue. Any accrued unpaid interest will be added to the loan balance and capitalized for your kids to pay back once they go into repayment.

Look for private loan lenders online. Shop around, ask questions, and compare interest rates and monthly payments on at least three private student loan programs before you commit to any lender.

We know college can be expensive. And in the current economy, money’s tighter this year for a lot of families than it has been. Even with federal financial aid like grants and college loans, you may have education-related expenses left to cover but not enough in savings to cover them.

If you and your kids have already taken advantage of all your low-cost federal financing options like Stafford student loans and PLUS parent loans but still have college costs to meet, you may be able to get the extra money you need from private student loans.

Why do my kids need a co-signer?

Most private student loan programs require students to apply for a private loan in their own name. But unless they can meet a lender’s income and credit requirements — which, after the subprime mortgage debacle, are even more stringent this year — your kids will need a creditworthy co-signer to qualify.

Many college students simply don’t have a long enough established credit history or make enough money to qualify for a private loan in their name alone.

Even if your kids do qualify for a private loan on their own, they may still be able to benefit from having you as a co-signer. Borrowers with stronger credit profiles often qualify for lower interest rates and fees than borrowers with weaker credit. If you have more disposable income and a better and more established credit history than your college kids, when you co-sign on their private student loans, you may be able to help them qualify for a better rate and lower, or even zero, fees.

What will I need to do in order to be a co-signer?

You’ll have to undergo a credit and income check. Specific credit and income requirements vary by lender, but you can expect to have to provide certain personal and financial information when your children apply for a private loan:

• • Your name, date of birth, and Social Security number

• • Your home address(es) for the past two years

• • Your employer and income information

• Contact information for two or three references who don’t live with you

If your loan is preapproved based on your application information, you’ll usually have to provide some final documentation verifying your address (like utility bills or a driver’s license) and your income (like pay stubs, tax returns, or pension award letters).

What am I responsible for as a co-signer?

As a co-signer, you’re assuming financial responsibility for your children’s loan. That means that if they miss a payment, the lender can come to you to collect; if you don’t cover your kids’ missed payments, those missed payments will go on your credit report too, not just on your kids’.

Once I co-sign, how can I minimize the risk to my own credit?

As a co-signer, you can’t absolve yourself of financial responsibility altogether, but there are a few things you and your kids can consider to help protect your credit.

• • Sign up for automatic monthly payments.
    Most private loan programs will allow students to defer making payments while they’re enrolled in school at least half time. Once your kids enter repayment, talk with them about enrolling in an automatic payment plan. With monthly payments coming straight out of your kids’ bank account, as long as your kids aren’t overdrawn, you can have the peace of mind of knowing you won’t get your credit dinged for any late payments.

    As an added bonus, several lenders offer an interest-rate reduction for borrowers who sign up for auto-pay plans, which means even lower, more affordable monthly payments for your kids.

• • Look into a co-signer release program.
    Some lenders offer a co-signer release benefit with their private student loans, in which students can request to release their co-signer from all financial responsibility after making a certain number of consecutive on-time monthly payments — this string of required timely payments typically runs between three and five years.

    One possibility, if you’re willing to take on some of your children’s college expenses, is to come to an agreement with your kids that you’ll cover their student loan payments for that time period, and then once you’re released as their co-signer, they’re on their own.

    Before any lenders will release you as a co-signer, though, they’ll usually require that your children be able to meet the loan’s income and credit requirements on their own at that time — so up until that point, your kids will have to maintain good credit and a clean payment history on any other debts they have in their name.

• Consider a repayment contract with your kids.
  Talk to your kids about setting up a repayment agreement, come to an understanding about what you’re willing to do as their parent and co-signer, and then put it in writing. This contract doesn’t have to be an IOU for the total loan amount; it can be more along the lines of a written promise from your kids to make their monthly payments on time, and it can set out some guidelines for them repaying you if you ever need to cover one of their payments.

  Make sure your children know this isn’t an issue of you not trusting them, but just a way of getting you both on the same page about what everyone’s financial responsibilities are — approach it as a friendly financial transaction instead of a personal one. Most levelheaded and responsible college kids will appreciate you treating them like an adult and take their commitment to you seriously.

I love my kids, but …

We know co-signing for your kids’ student loans is a big commitment, and it can be nerve-wracking when the state of your credit is in someone else’s hands. But you also know your kids: Are they reliable, dependable, smart with their money? Do you trust them to handle their student loan payments responsibly?

And even if the answer to both those questions is yes, you probably can’t help all the other questions running through your head: What if my kids have trouble finding a job out of college or lose their job while they’re still paying off their student loans? What if they can’t afford to make their payments? Am I comfortable taking on the financial burden of their student loans for them when they’re coming up short?

One way to look at it is if you can help your kids qualify for a lower interest rate by co-signing on their private student loans, you may be helping to ensure that they don’t run into problems repaying those loans. A lower interest rate means lower monthly payments, which may be easier for your kids to meet when they’re just out of college and starting a new job.

On an even more basic level than better rates and fees, you co-signing on a loan may be the difference between your children being able to get the money they need for college and not.

At the end of the day, as you sort through all your questions, it may all just boil down to asking yourself this: If my being a co-signer means my kids can afford to pay for college, is it worth it?

And the only one who can answer that question is you.

1. 1. Sign up for free customer loyalty and rewards programs. Enroll in programs like Upromise or MyPoints, and earn discounts, cash back, and even money toward your child’s college fund. You can earn rewards for eligible purchases on groceries, gasoline, online shopping, and more.
   2. Bookmark deal sites. Use websites like Spoofee, CheapStingyBargains, and Slickdeals to find daily deals, discounts, and bargains on everything from computers and electronics to furniture, appliances, and clothes. Users also post information about stores and retailers that are offering freebies and giveaways.
   3. Rent movies from the redbox. Forget monthly fees at Blockbuster and Netflix. Rent your DVDs for just $1.00 a night from redbox, the company behind those standalone red kiosks prominently placed in front of some Walgreens, McDonald’s, and other convenience stores. You can reserve your movies online, then pick up and return your selections at any one of more than 8,000 locations — all with no late fees.
   4. Hit garage sales and thrift stores. Wander into some of the more upscale parts of town. People who live here will tend to upgrade and redecorate more often, and their barely-used castoffs can end up in consignment stores or as donations to thrift shops. With a little luck, you can snag an almost-new designer couch or a high-end home entertainment system at a great price.
   5. Get spa services at a beauty school. Let a hairstylist-in-training cut your hair or a nail-artist-to-be give you your manicure and pedicure. You could save as much as 75 percent over salon prices just by letting a student practice on you; some schools even offer days when their student services are absolutely free. And if your rookie messes up, a professional is usually on hand to fix the problem.
   6. Make fewer trips to the grocery store. Start keeping a shopping list, and do all your grocery shopping just once a week. Besides saving on gas, you’re also less likely to buy things you don’t need: Over 50 percent of shoppers who make “quick trips” to a store three to four times a week will buy items on impulse, according to a study by the Marketing Science Institute.
   7. Use online coupons and discounts. Sites like The Coupon Mom offer hundreds of dollars worth of free grocery coupons, free restaurant coupons, and free samples. At Restaurant.com, you can buy a $25 gift certificate to local restaurants for only $10. And coupons aren’t just for food and groceries anymore: At RetailMeNot.com, besides coupons for restaurants, you can quickly find printable coupons and codes for over 15,000 stores and online retailers, including car rental companies, booksellers, clothing stores, and sites like eBay and Overstock.com.

Maybe you’re one of those parents who’s always bailing your grown children out of a financial hole.

You watch your just-out-of-college kids buy an iPhone, a plasma TV, spend $4.00 a day on their Caramel Frappuccino at Starbucks, even though you know they can’t afford it. Yet when they’re overdrawn on their checking account, maxed out on their student credit cards, late on their rent, or can’t make their student loan payments, you’re quick to swoop in with the money they need.

It’s natural to want to help your kids. Even when they’re old enough to be taking care of themselves, you don’t want to see them make financial mistakes that could affect them for years.

But if you want there to be any hope of putting an end to this cycle, before you bail your 20-something son or daughter out again, keep these three tips in mind:

1. Be objective. Take into consideration why your kids need the money. If they got laid off, for example, or totaled their car in an accident, assuming the role of the emotionally and financially supportive parent is completely appropriate. But if this is the tenth time in six months that one of your kids is hitting you up for money, this may be a sign of an unhealthy pattern that can’t be fixed by simply writing a check. Your child could be showing signs of compulsive “debting.”
2. Don’t enable. Consider the pattern you’re setting and the behavior you’re encouraging by not putting your foot down. If you’re always there to bail them out, your kids will never change their spend-happy ways because you haven’t given them a reason to. In their world, there aren’t any consequences to making poor financial decisions because you’re quick to pull out your checkbook, no matter what their financial slip-up.
3. Set boundaries. Make it clear that your help is temporary. Next time, before you hand over any money, set some conditions: Require that your kids enroll in a continuing education class on financial management, watch them cut up one of their credit cards, or let them know that you expect them to sell off their nonessentials (iPod, TV, stereo) to pay you back. Be clear about how long you’ll help, and set a non-negotiable cutoff date — the day you stop handing over money, period.

Your children will be bombarded with hundreds of college credit card offers while they’re at college — current students report receiving an average of almost five credit card solicitations a month — and as sensible as you think your kids might be, odds are they won’t be able to resist.

Lured by the appeal of seemingly easy money and giveaways like coupons for pizza and free music downloads, nearly two out of every three undergraduates report having at least one credit card, with an average balance between $1,300 for first-year students and $2,600 for seniors, according to a study released in March by the U.S. Public Interest Research Group. One in four students report having paid at least one late fee, and 15 percent report having paid at least one over-the-limit fee. Over 6 percent have had at least one card cancelled for non-payment.

But the dangers of student credit cards run deeper than just debt, delinquency, and fees: Students with high credit card debt run a higher risk of having low GPAs and dropping out of school — in fact, an estimated 7 to 10 percent of college students will drop out because of credit problems, says Robert Manning, author of Credit Card Nation.

So what can you do to help make sure your kids don’t end up the victims of their own rampant and unfettered credit card use?

What You’re Up Against

• Your kids see credit cards as free money, easy money, or more money — not debt.
• They view having and using a credit card as a sign of independence and adulthood.
• They’re drawn to the idea that they can buy what they want, when they want it, even when they don’t have the cash to cover it.
• They’re sure they’ll have plenty of time and resources to pay their cards off later, and they underestimate the impact of interest and fees — they can skate by on minimum payments right now, so why worry?
• They’re new to credit and may not really understand the full long-term implications of a spotty credit record — if they go over their limit or miss a payment, no big deal, they’ll just make it up next month.
• Young adults tend to have less impulse control — your kids may see their chance to live large away from home and take it, overextending themselves beyond what they can afford.

How to Deal: The 5 Canons of College Credit Cards

The reality is, you may not be able to keep your kids from getting a credit card; once they’re 18, they can qualify for a credit card on their own.

What you can do, though, is try to pass on some hard-earned adult wisdom and a few reality checks. Here are five wise and basic but crucial rules for your kids to charge by that could help keep them out of credit card trouble.

Rule 1: Think debit, not credit.
Encourage your kids to think of their credit cards as for-emergency-use-only. Suggest they set up a bank account tied to a debit card instead to use for their college expenses — and turning down overdraft protection, which makes it too easy for them to spend more than what they have and comes with expensive transaction fees, to boot. With a debit card, your kids can have the same convenience of plastic, but once their money runs out, it’s out, and they’ll have no choice but to stop spending.

Rule 2: Set up a budget.
Help your kids set up a budget for each semester, so that they don’t end up spending more than they have. Urge them to track their expenses and balance their budget each month in order to establish valuable habits that’ll come in handy even after college.

Rule 3: Know what you’re getting into.
Discuss consequences. Remind your kids that a credit card is a loan, not extra spending money. Make sure they understand that even just late payments could affect their credit score to the point where they might not be able to rent an apartment when they go off-campus, qualify for any private student loans they might need while they’re in school, or even get hired once they leave college.

Rule 4: Build your credit slowly.
Acknowledge that a credit card, well-handled, can be a good way of building credit, but warn your kids that too many credit cards, even if they’re not being used, can bring a credit score down. Advise your kids to select just one low-interest credit card with a small available balance that they can begin to use — in small doses only — to build their credit.

Rule 5: Use plastic responsibly.
Stress to your kids that they should be paying off their balance in full and on time each month. Help them see that it may not matter that they find a great deal on sale if they have to charge it, since each month that they don’t pay off a full charge and rack up interest, they’re paying more for their purchase than what was rung up at the register. Emphasize that they should only charge what they have the cash to cover; and if a balance remains unpaid in any month, they need to stop charging until their debt is paid.

1) Avoid ATM fees.
When you take out money from ATMs that aren’t affiliated with your bank, you could be charged around $5.00 for every transaction — $2.50 by your bank and $2.50 by the ATM provider. Take out cash twice a week, and that’s $40 a month you’re paying just to have access to your money — something that’s free when you go through your own bank.

If your bank doesn’t have enough ATM or branch coverage to be convenient for you, consider opening a free account at a different bank with widespread ATMs where you keep just enough to cover your cash withdrawals from week to week.

2) Unplug.
Chargers and electrical appliances that feature a clock, a timer, any kind of memory, or that can be operated by remote “are all sucking electricity even when you’re not using them,” says Dale Bryk of the National Resources Defense Council. Of the total energy used to run home electronics, as much as 40 percent is consumed when these so-called “vampire appliances” — TVs, DVD players, computers, printers, stereos, automatic coffee makers — are turned off.

Shave some dollars off of your electric bill by either unplugging your home appliances when you’re not using them or by plugging them into Smart Strip power strips from BITS Ltd., which stop drawing electricity when your gadgets are turned off. After a few months of savings, the Smart Strips will pay for themselves.

3) Keep cool or heat things up — but only when you’re home.
The average household spends more than $2,000 a year on energy bills — nearly half of which is spent on heating and cooling, according to the U.S. Department of Energy. You can save about $180 a year by properly setting and maintaining the settings on a programmable thermostat to automatically adjust the temperature for you when you’re away from home. Generally, you can save about 3 percent of your heating costs for each degree you lower your thermostat in the winter and about 4 percent of your cooling costs for each degree you raise your thermostat in the summer.

If you have a manual thermostat, you can still save money by adjusting the temperature before you leave the house. Try turning your thermostat up in the summer or down in the winter by five to eight degrees before you leave for work or on vacation.

4) Make your own meals.
You’d be surprised how much eating out is costing you. A recent survey conducted by the National Restaurant Association found that Americans are spending more than 50 percent of their average household food budget on eating out, compared to the 25 percent they spent in 1955.

Spending just $2.00 a day on a homemade lunch versus $6.00 a day at the drive-thru or at a local restaurant will save you about $80 a month — that’s $960 a year. And if your excuse for eating out during the work week is because you need to get a break from the office, you can always grab your homemade lunch and eat at a local park. Take a walk afterwards, and you could save yourself a trip to the gym.

5) Buy generic.
Don’t buy into clever marketing. Why pay more for a name brand when generic brands are often made by some of the very same manufacturers, points out Joanna Pruess, author of Supermarket Confidential. You can almost always save money — sometimes a couple of dollars per item — by choosing a no-name brand over the name-brand products you know and love.

Go generic on everything from cereal to canned goods and frozen vegetables to over-the-counter medications. The FDA requires that over-the-counter drugstore-branded medications be as effective as their brand-name counterparts. That means your pharmacy’s generic ibuprofen pain reliever should do the job just as well as Motrin IB — for a few dollars less.

6) Shop the used-car lot.
If it’s time for a new car, you could save thousands simply by buying a car with some miles on it. Look for recent models — those less than five years old — and you could get a nearly-new car that’s still in fine working order for a fraction of the new-car price. Your insurance premium will almost always be lower on a used car than on a new one, and you’ll also generally get more value for your purchase price: New cars generally lose 30 percent of their value as soon as they’re driven off the lot.

7) Say no to new dorm décor.
While your kids might not be thrilled about heading off to college with someone else’s hand-me-downs, shopping for furniture or other dorm essentials on Craigslist, at garage sales, and at your local consignment, Goodwill, and Savers stores could help you save hundreds of dollars.

You may find deals on everything from beds and couches to lamps, desks, and bookshelves. And with a little work, you can often make less-gently used items look new again without spending what you would on something right out of the box.

You probably had the drug and alcohol talk with your college kids years ago. You spent their teen years trying to steer them away from the seedy friends and drug pushers. But now that they’re away at college, with less supervision and more freedom, your kids could fall into a drug habit without you there to notice.

And the biggest risk these days doesn’t come from those notorious illegal drugs you might have warned them about — crack, speed, heroin, meth, mushrooms — but from the pills sitting conveniently inside your medicine cabinet.

Nearly 7 million Americans are abusing prescription drugs, according to the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration — more than the number who are abusing cocaine, heroin, hallucinogens, Ecstasy, and inhalants, combined. Prescription drug abuse has skyrocketed by 80 percent in just six years: Prescription meds are now more popular than every other drug except marijuana, and opiate painkillers now cause more deaths from overdose than both cocaine and heroin put together.

As a college parent who isn’t living under the same roof as your kids anymore, it’s easy to feel helpless, too far removed to know what’s going on with them. But here are some basic facts and warning signs you can stay aware of, even long-distance, that might be your clues to a potential prescription drug problem developing with your kids away from home.

The New Drugs of Choice

Teens and young adults tend to be drawn to prescription drugs for two reasons:

1. 40% of teens (and almost the same percentage of parents) believe that prescription drugs are safer than illegal street drugs.
2. Prescription drugs are often easy to obtain from friends and family — either simply by asking or by stealing, unnoticed, from a medicine cabinet — and from medical professionals, usually by lying about symptoms and by frequently switching physicians. It’s especially easy for out-of-state college students to go to a doctor they’ve never visited before without seeming suspicious or raising any questions.

The most commonly abused prescription drugs include painkillers like Vicodin, OxyContin, Percocet, and Tylenol with codeine; anti-anxiety medications and muscle relaxants like Paxil, Xanax, Valium, and Soma; sleeping pills like Ambien; and stimulants (used to treat ADHD — attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) like Adderall, Ritalin, Dexedrine, and Concerta; all of which are either taken in pill form at higher-than-prescribed doses or crushed up and snorted.

Students Popping Brainpower Pills

Colleges and universities, in particular, have become hotbeds for Adderall and Ritalin abuse. As many as one in five college students has illegally used one of the two drugs, according to a 2002 study conducted by the University of Wisconsin.

Used to treat ADHD and narcolepsy, Adderall and Ritalin in the average student will reduce fatigue, enhance short-term memory, and increase alertness, focus, concentration, and mental-processing speed. College students will use Adderall and Ritalin to stay up days at a time, to help them write more pages, complete assignments faster, and read for longer stretches, and to help them cram and retain last-minute information for exams — it’s the next turbo-charged step up from caffeine and energy drinks like Red Bull and Monster.

Adderall, a blend of four different amphetamines, is frighteningly easy to get addicted to, and it can prove especially irresistible to the most ambitious, hardest-working students, as journalist Joshua Foer reveals in his piece for Slate.com about his self-experiment with Adderall (“The Adderall Me: My Romance With ADHD Meds,” May 10, 2005).

Adderall is like “a cognitive steroid,” writes Foer. “[G]ym rats have steroids, and overachievers have Adderall.”

Recognizing the Warning Signs

In general, physicians tell families to look for dramatic changes in mood or behavior in their children as a sign of drug abuse. But when your kids are in college, generic changes like these can be hard to differentiate from just overall college stress.

Here are some more specific signals you can try to pick up on over the phone when you’re checking in:

• Excessive energy
• Excessive drowsiness
• Inability to concentrate
• Lowered inhibitions
• Increased secrecy
• Dramatic and compelling but vague complaints

You can also look for more concrete danger signs when your kids come back for Thanksgiving or winter break. Of course, if you suspect a problem with your kids before then, you may want to drive or fly out to see them, and be on the lookout for physical red flags:

• Constricted or dilated pupils
• Flushed face and neck
• Slowed breathing
• Lowered blood pressure
• Sensory alteration

Seeing these symptoms in your child doesn’t necessarily mean he or she has a drug problem; these signs could be indicators of a variety of mental, emotional, physical, or stress-related problems. But in light of the much-publicized prescription-drug-related death of actor Heath Ledger earlier this year, these aren’t signs to be taken lightly.

Prescription drug addiction is a serious and dangerous drug problem and may need to be addressed by a medical professional or require professional rehabilitation or detoxification treatment.

If you’re concerned about a potential prescription drug habit in one of your college kids, contact the school health center and ask to speak to a staff counselor about what steps to take next.

For more information on prescription drug abuse, visit www.prescription-drug-abuse.org.